Understanding and Managing Anxiety Through Faith and Prayer

Episode 50,. What does the Bible say about anxiety? How can I find peace? Hey?

everybody. This is Deborah and Wendy. Hello, you are listening to Grace in Real Life, the podcast for Christian women who desire to live out their faith in real life. This week we are talking about anxiety, da-da-da. Well, I mean, anxiety is kind of ancient. You hear that word and then I know that triggers two sets of thoughts for people. Ugh, anxiety, that's not a thing. Sometimes that gut response everyone feels anxious. And then there's the people who have had anxiety and were like, nope, it's a thing. It's a thing, but I feel like you say that phrase and there's two gut responses. You know what I mean. People are eyeball roll or compassion. It's not really in between? I don't feel like there's an in between.

Well, that's because, like many things in mental health, the term gets overused and then applied to things it's not supposed to be applied to. So like, for example, post-traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder, but if someone says I have a trauma response or a PTSD response to Christmas, you're kind of like that usually cues the eye roll, cause you're like, come on, now, christmas, but they could. But because it's said so often, so flippantly cue the eye rolls.

Yeah, and we don't talk about the physiological responses very much. People like, oh, I'm anxious, and they're like I think there's a viewpoint maybe that like you know you're sitting in a corner rocking, you know I've done that and that's a thing, but that's sometimes there's also a trigger, spider flight, and I've been in like we'll laugh a little bit. People who have hyperemesis grab a darn, often have PTSD when it comes because we spend so much time vomiting and being very sick. And I would say I weathered it pretty well. Like I've shared before, I've had it. But one of the things that I didn't know that was an underlying thing until somebody was having a conversation we were talking about it. One of the things that are characterized hyperemesis is that it gets worse with each subsequent pregnancy. And I was having a conversation with someone about it and she was like, well, I'm just gonna wing it for the next time. And my body, I literally got hot all over. I literally picked up my children and ran home and my friend called me when I got home. She's like are you okay? I've like never seen you do anything. And I was like I don't even know how I got here. I don't know how I got home. Like I was just home and it was because my body had such a strong response to what she was saying and it was a panic response and I was like I can't be here and I ran away.

Yeah.

I literally ran away. It's probably one of the few times where I've experienced it, but it was overwhelming and, like I said, I mean I'm standing in the house to put the kids down and I'm like I really don't know how I got here and fight or flight response right. So sometimes we fight, sometimes we run away, sometimes we sit in a shower and be very sad. Yeah, those are all, they're all. So all of this is like I don't want to say it's normal, because anxiety is not necessarily normal, but it doesn't.

It's a normal part of the human experience.

There we go. That's the phrase that I'm looking for. I don't want people to think like it's continuous. It can be People have anxiety disorders and it is continuous but I don't want it to be. I don't want that perception to be like you have to feel that way all the time. You can feel that way all the time, and I think there's some different phrases that are very important here, like and we are you guys know me, I like to parse words and I think it's important in this particular situation that we do, because some things are normal meaning we all have anxious moments. However, larger intrusive thoughts, continual anxiety and inability to leave your house and inability to function, take care of your children, take care of yourself, take care of your spouse these are actually not in the what we would put in the normal behavior and we would put those into, like, the clinical side of it, where you actually need some intervention. So it would be remiss of us to talk about anxiety without at least touching on that side of it, especially because Wendy and I have both been health coaches. I am currently, wendy has in the past and she's currently trained as a pastoral counselor. So this is something that we talk about and she talks about in counseling as well and anxiety. We also wanna touch on the fact that anxiety can also be a health condition, as in a side effect of a health condition. So people who have certain medical situations, such as thyroid disease, hormone imbalances, diabetes, heart disease, copd you can actually have anxiety as a result of those particular issues. Thyroid, specifically, is one of them. When your thyroid hormones are off, whether they're too fast most of us if we've had hyperthyroidism if your thyroid is running too fast, it can make you actually feel anxious because your heart is racing. So you actually feel like you're doing something that you're not and that's gonna give you an anxious feel. We won't go into all the details, but I do want you to know some of this can be a side effect and it can be its own thing as well. So we're not actually gonna sit here in the clinical side of it, because if you are in the clinical side, or you have a medical condition that is not a mental health issue, or you have a mental health issue, those are fine, but we do want you to discuss those with your provider. We think that it's irresponsible not to tell you that. We want you to make sure that you have this conversation. The flip side of this is guess what? The human experience. It has anxiety. In fact, I love Wendy. She was telling me earlier she's like Jesus had anxiety and I was like what? So tell them how Jesus had anxiety, because I think this is a cool one. I think it's cool in the fact that if we're gonna use the Bible in all of the people that God shared with us and we're gonna use them as examples, we have to realize that they were real humans.

Right. So just as we have discussed that, Jesus got angry. Jesus got sad, he cried, he wept, he wailed at the death of Lazarus, his friend. As Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, he experienced anxiety. What anybody looking at the definition of anxiety would you know. You would apply that to his situation he sweat blood. I don't even remember the name of that condition off the top of my head, but his anxiety was such at such a heightened state that that condition was a consequence where he sweat blood. He knew what was going to happen and if you don't remember, Garden of Gethsemane was the night he was arrested before being crucified. So he knew what was coming and remember he prayed Father, if it is all possible, take this cup from me. He was scared, but it doesn't mean he didn't trust God. It doesn't mean that he was sinful in being anxious and being scared. That's not a sin and I want to make that really clear. So having those feelings does not make you a bad person. It doesn't make you sinful. It doesn't mean you don't trust God. It doesn't mean you're a bad Christian. It doesn't mean any of those things, except that you are human and so often what we do is we try to truncate our feelings or we try to hide them or suppress them in a way that is unnatural to being human, and we forget that Jesus experienced those same things. He experienced emotions. Emotions are not bad, but in experiencing those emotions, he provides a way for us, a model's, a way for us to deal with said emotions. I like that.

I like it a lot, because here's the thing we all have those emotions, and Wendy and I just shared an experience earlier ourselves about a time period in which we had those emotions. And I will say this just because there is a reason whether it's somebody pushed a button in your life or you've had some trauma or you've experienced a medical condition, or you've experienced a mental condition or a medical condition just because there's a reason, any of those reasons doesn't actually mean that the solution that the Bible provides is obsolete. So just because we know something has a condition to it doesn't mean that we can't find solutions in our Bible. So first I wanted to find anxiety, because I think it's important to be on the same page here. So anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. Some of you may have those anxious, intrusive thoughts at nighttime, when you're actually not busy, because you actually have a moment to stop and think. I get them at night. I always usually wake up at like 2 am and I feel like I've just been poofed awake and my body is like oh my gosh, I'm worried about something. And there's good things with that, guys, because your body is trying to tell you something and it's a useful tool. It can be a tool in which, instead of digging into the anxious side of it, you can actually dig and turn that into an excitement. There are ways for you to mentally do that. So it's kind of an interesting thing because when you're having these anxious moments, your body and your brain are actually giving you signals and telling you things. And this is an important thing, like just in Jesus's case when Wendy shared earlier where his body and he knew. He knew what was coming. His body was learning him what was coming because he knew inherently, right, jesus is omnipresent, he's omnipresent and he knew all of that that was coming the betrayal, the crucifixion, the beating, all of the abuse that was coming. Nobody would want to volunteer for that, okay. So he knew. Sometimes our bodies know things because they're processing information that we don't actually even have an opportunity to really think about, so we haven't actually brought them to the forefront of our mind to process exactly what that means. But our body is responding and giving us warning signs. And that could be warning signs because you're anxious, because you've got a new job and you think that it's not gonna go well, and then you have the opportunity to turn that around and think, oh, I'm gonna make this exciting. This is an exciting adventure. You know, sometimes it's anxious because something terrible has gone wrong, maybe a car accident, and that's a lot harder to turn around than something that is exciting, right, but those warning signs that our body is giving us, they're useful. So I want you guys to know that, like, just because we have them doesn't mean that and again, we talked about normal earlier. So, like, if you have extreme thoughts, that's one thing, but having these, these are good things. Your body is having this communication with you. It is not necessarily pleasant, but your body and mind are communicating and that's an important thing in some of our stuff about discernment, using the wisdom that God has given us, the Holy Spirit talking to us. We have a lot of things. But back to what I said just a second ago here Just because you have a reason doesn't mean that you can't find a solution in the Bible and Wendy was. She cued me into this very great phrase and I'm gonna let her define it in just a second here. But there is a statement called biblical infallibility, and I use the sentence that I just described to you, that the Bible is not obsolete, it's useful in our life, and Wendy reminded me of the great theological phrase biblical infallibility. So go ahead and define that for us, wendy, because I think this is an important thing that people need to understand when it comes to talking about anxiety.

Right. So there's two terms that often go together biblical inerrancy and biblical infallibility. Biblical inerrancy means that the Bible doesn't have any errors, but biblical infallibility means that there's a trustworthiness to the Bible as a guide and that it will not deceive you. And it's not an infallibility. It doesn't say that the Bible doesn't have errors, but rather that it cannot fail, specifically because it is inspired by and it is the word of God, right. So biblical infallibility will include a link to a deeper reflection on infallibility versus inerrancy, but it is as Deborah is describing, which is that the Bible may not specifically say how to deal with an issue A, b or C but it gives you a guide on how to live the life of a believer, and in that we can figure out how to deal with things like anxiety. Yes, anxiety is mentioned specifically in the Bible, but there are so many things we deal with in 2023 that are not specifically mentioned in the Bible. It doesn't mean the Bible is obsolete. The Bible is a complete guide, and that's what infallibility means.

And I like that. I'm gonna be honest, I love that you gave that definition, I love you found the phrase for us, because there's just something so snuggly about knowing that what you're looking at and listening and just got peace. We're talking about peace earlier, that peace of dealing with anxiety, knowing that you still have a tool that's actually useful now, because oftentimes I hear clips from people. That's just an old book. It was written by people who just don't understand our lives today and one of my favorite verses is there's nothing new under the sun. And it's so funny because I had a friend who shared something with me a couple months back and she was like this just seems so new and I was like it's not actually like the human condition and the human attitude. I was like this is no different than this. And I shared a Bible story and she was like oh, that really kind of matches. But like now it's almost like we're the science fiction of the Bible world. Right, we've got cell phones and cameras and we're recording here, not even in the same state, and yet the reality is humans really haven't changed that much, right? But here's the same. And what are roots of anger and upsetness? That's not a word y'all Anger, anxiety, anxiousness. There we go. That's what I was trying for those. None of that has changed the root of what it is insecurity, fear, anxiousness, a lack of faith and like a lack of you know where to follow our faith right. Sometimes we have an actual lack of faith in God because we don't know Him. All of those things they existed when the Bible was written and they exist today. What it looks like today? Well, guess what that looks different, but you know what? Guess what? So the clothes that I wear, my clothes, look different. They're like things look different, but they are the same. They are the same. And I do like the fact that there are so many tools in the Bible, and it's not just about anxiety. I know we talk about the word anxiety and the word anxiety is actually listed in the Bible specifically, and it's worry. Anxiety and fear are so prevalent in the human condition that they are listed 365 separate times in the Bible. So clearly anxiety is a problem for God's people, Otherwise God wouldn't have written about it. I think only money is the thing that supersedes Money is the thing most written about. Money is the thing that's most written about, and certainly anxiety and anxiety is written about, obviously, quite substantially so clearly. We, as humans, we experience this on the regular, which is why, when we started this, I use the word normal, because if the Bible wrote about it 365 times and we're still talking about it today, then it's a normal part of our life. It's a thing we're going to experience, no different than stubbing your toe or bumping your funny bone, and so we thought that we would bring you some people that experienced anxiety in the Bible and some specific situations that I find comforting but also slightly humorous. My first one that I'm going to share with you guys is about Elijah, and there is a meme going around. If you guys are meme fans, I'll tell you the meme in a second. But Elijah, he was a prophet of God and he was feeling very anxious about Jezebel. She was a queen at the time and she was a queen at the time and she was actively seeking out to kill him and he was being chased, and basically the verses talk about the fact that the Lord just saw his anxiousness and was like lay down, take a nap. And then the angel woke him up and was like eat, and that's the meme that's going around. Sometimes you know you're not hungry, you're just tired. Or sometimes you're not anxious, you're just tired and you need to eat. Yeah, that's the meme.

Like this maker's commercial you're not you when you're hungry. Eat is not the first bar, deborah is not.

Deborah when she's hungry.

Right. So, like again, if we're not taking care of ourselves, then we are more likely to forget to give grace to people, to give grace to ourselves. So we may be acting out of exhaustion or hunger or just extreme sadness, but the fact of the matter is is that once we start to take care of ourselves and practice self-care, we're able to see things for what they really are, and I want to point out really quick here Elijah had literally just called down fire from heaven.

So we're not talking about someone who's never seen the might and power of God in real life. Like you and I, we have not called down fire from heaven, and so when we're in our anxious state, it's oftentimes because we feel as though we are far from God or we can't see how to access him. But even here, elijah actually Elijah just called down fire and he was tired and he was hungry. So, instead of turning to God, being like I know you have this he was anxious and, guys, he had a reason to be anxious. Jezebel was horrible. She literally murdered people for fun, like she was an awful human being, and so his reason for his anxiousness was legit. But it was because he was tired, because he was hungry, that he didn't have the ability to focus that anxiousness into something good. So, like Wendy said, when we practice self-care, when we make sure we're putting ourselves first, when we're putting on our oxygen mask before we're taking care of other people, we are going to have a harder time managing certain things. Okay, that self-care is important and we as I actually wanna touch on this really quick self-care doesn't have to be, calgon, take me away.

In fact, it's almost never Calgon take me away.

So it's not at all for me, and I think that self-care has gotten this kind of like bad rap, like oh, it's just this silly thing that you do. Guys, this is not painting your fingernails and just going for a flower laden lock. It can be because it's something that you prioritize, but the majority of self-care is really acknowledging where you're struggling and what you need to help correct that struggle. Now, whether that's nap or food or a walk in the flowers, it doesn't really matter, and self-care is also about establishing and protecting boundaries.

So the things that you do for self-care you put in place because you have boundaries, because boundaries are good and they help you not only reinforce those boundaries but also give you time away from everything else so that you can achieve some sort of balance. Jesus did not heal people all the time, he didn't even heal all the people, but he took time away to be with God. He took time away to be alone. He took time away to sleep, to eat, to have fun, right. So if he needed that, how much more do we need that in our imperfect human condition?

That actually leads me into my next favorite story to share, because Jesus was healing people and he was working with humans and he and his disciples boarded a boat. You can find this in Matthew 8, 23 through 27. 23 through 27,. There we go, making sure my number's right, and they're on a boat and Jesus is exhausted and he sleeps because he was fully human, all right, he was fully God and he was fully human. And he falls asleep and he's sleeping deeply and his disciples are losing their ever-loving minds. Why? Not because he's sleeping, but because he's sleeping through a storm. He was probably like man this boat rocks nicely and he was gone because he was so tired. This is me in turbulence in an airplane. When I'm really tired, I'm like it's like being rocked in the cradle of the sky. I love it. People think I'm crazy. I know People think I'm crazy when these little like she's definitely weird. Y'all I've met her. I'll wear that, I'll wear that, I'll own that. But in this particular story I love it so much. They are, so terrified they are. They literally have seen Jesus perform miracle after miracle, after miracle after miracle. They literally cannot emphasize that enough. And there he is asleep, the Son of God, and all they have to do is wake him up. But they don't go from hey, jesus, we got this storm coming. You think you can fix it? They go from like zero to straight anxiety we're gonna die. We're gonna die on this boat. We are freaking the stink out and they wake him up and he literally just says, be done, and the storm is done. I love this so much because it emphasizes exactly what you were talking about, about having boundaries and self-care. But at the same time, people around us, when we're doing that, can freak out. And then what? Like? I just like it. I like this very much. It showcases so many different things. And again, guys, this is just to the point People experience anxiety in strong situations because we don't have control. We have no control over our whole life. To be perfectly honest, there's an illusion of it, but in this particular situation, obviously we can't control the weather at all, and so their fear was justified, their anxiety was justified. Look, they were good chunk of them were fishermen. Right, what half? I don't know how many Like that yeah, enough of them.

There were enough fishermen in that group that this was not their first storm.

Right. So not only is this not their first storm, so it's not their first night on a boat, so it had to be a pretty significant storm or gale or hurricane. It's not a hurricane because of where?

it was.

But you get my point. Like it was a strong enough storm that it scared people who were out on the water every day of their life that made this their living. So this storm was not, like you know, a little bit of sprinkles, and so they had a reason to be frightened. And yet here we are. God comes and calms the storm. True anxiety, it's OK.

Yeah.

Do you have a story you'd like to share, Wendy?

No, I just find it really funny that we're talking about a storm and it is literally. It just started raining right now where I am in Florida, so I'm just I'm hoping the internet can remain stable while we get there.

Wendy's over here like please don't flood, please keep my internet up Right, yeah, priorities. Well, let's discuss. We're going to jump to my next favorite story, which is Paul, and I love so much of Paul's life, but really his end of his life is actually one of my favorites, mostly because his ministry was successful. He had seen God's handiwork firsthand. His own eyesight had been restored, he'd been struck down. His life was a testimony to the power of God. And in Philippians 4, 6 through 7, he writes this from jail, and I want to make it really clear he did not write this from a palatial, delightful location. He wrote it from jail, a Roman jail at that, and he was again jailed because of his belief. He says this be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Now there is a big command in here. The first verse, the first sentence, is a command Be anxious for nothing. Which is interesting because we've just had a whole conversation about people who were anxious. Yeah, so what do you think this first means? Because this is an easy one that people could pass over. You could use it two ways. You could actually use it like a hammer and beat people up because it says don't be anxious for anything, so anxiety is a bad thing. Or you could use it as like well, other people are anxious, so it's fine. And then you start chastising yourself for being anxious. Like we could use it as kind of a positive, like you could use it as two negatives. But really the reality of this verse is that there are five positives that come out from the entirety of these two verses. First thing oh, go ahead, do you have something?

Well, no, I just. I was thinking about what Paul said right before. He said be anxious for nothing.

Oh, OK, go Read it. What's?

it say. So he says in verse four rejoice in the Lord always. I say again rejoice. Let your reasonableness or gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand, do not be anxious for everything. So actually, when he says be anxious, do not be anxious for anything, it's not the beginning of a sentence, it's not. It's actually the rest of verse five. The Lord is at hand, do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. So when he is saying do not be anxious for anything, what he's actually doing is quoting Proverbs 16.3, which I will bring up right now.

I'm going to add that to our notes because otherwise we'll miss it.

Proverbs 16.3,. Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established. That's all it says. The new international version reads this way Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. So I think what he's saying here is, when Paul is saying, hey, don't be anxious about anything, he's saying the Lord's got this Like. You just need to commit everything you do to God, because you can't control it anyway. God, as we know, all things work together for good, For things we love yes, I'm having trouble talking today those who love God and are called according to his purpose. So God can obviously do whatever God wants to do, but he will not act in contrary to his nature. In knowing that and knowing that, whatever happens, it is to the glory of God, what is there really to be anxious about in the end? So really it's a thought exercise.

This is a thought exercise, because this is one. I think the Proverbs verse really takes that into the thought exercise into consideration, because it's reminding us where we place our thoughts, how we view things, who we're giving the authority to and who we're following and how we're aligning our thoughts. And so actually, one of the things that I like about this verse that it's not a command to be. Anxiety is bad. I think the implication of this verse, including the previous verses which I'm going to include in our notes here, is that there are lots of examples to follow and learn from is the first implication. The second implication is a Deborah simplification, because I want to say don't worry, be happy, but don't worry, god's got you.

Yeah, and this is also why having a good Bible with footnotes is important, so that you can see all the Old Testament verses and even the cross references to New Testament verses that the authors are using. So the New Living Translation, verse 6, says this do not don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything, tell God what you need and thank Him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. I have a question for you.

Sure. So have you ever been in a situation in which you prayed and then you get that peace, and do you think you can describe it?

Yeah, so it actually happened Monday. Oh cool, so I would go. I didn't even know that this is awesome, so I went to the particulars of the situation. But just suffice to say for the listeners, I got some really bad news and I was driving at the time and I started to panic. I started to be anxious and filled with anxiety. Oh my gosh, what are we going to do? What am I going to do? Can I do X, y and Z? Can I fix this? What can I do? And my thoughts were focused solely on my ability, my power, my ability, or lack thereof, to be prepared for a situation like this.

Oh, I heard it when you said it I, I, I like four times Exactly.

And I didn't even start to pray before I felt God saying hold on, this isn't about you, it's about my ability to provide. Do you trust me? And I started. My thoughts then shifted from panic to more of a problem solving posture to say, oh well, you know, god provided this and this happened, and well, we've got this thing. So instead of seeing problems, I saw solutions and God was like see, I told you there was nothing really to worry about. I'll let you know when it's time to worry, but there won't be a time to worry. So I had, because I had 45 minutes before.

I could get home and she texted me and I was not available. Just so young.

Yeah, I had nobody to talk to, just me and God and in my favorite time guys. In the midst of that 45 minute drive, I went from a heightened state of panic and you guys, I have PTSD, so I know what clinical anxiety feels like. So I went from a heightened state of panic wanting to cry and weep and gnash my teeth or that kind of thing to peace, that peace that you see people have in the midst of chaos. That's the best way I can describe it. When you see, for example, a first responder or military personnel who is surrounded by chaos but is calm in the middle of it. That's the best approximation to how I felt on Monday.

I call it a downshift. Like all of a sudden, like you're, you guys, this is gonna totally date me and I hope you guys are up here with me. You guys remember when we drove standard transmissions?

My husband still does. I love that.

I've wanted one for a while. I love driving it, but do you remember the feeling that I always get when I have this anxiety that's not of the Lord is like when you downshift and you're on the highway and you're like in third gear and like everything is revving in the car, they're shaking and the noise is loud and it's everything is just flushed, and then all of a sudden you shift into fifth gear and the car evens out and the road smooths out and you're just everything drops into that peaceful state. That's like it's not a like. You're that downshift is where you're anxious and that shift into the fifth gear where you're back into that place of peace and you're with the road and you're with traffic and you're not having this like anxious moment. That's my best approximation of it Because in that time in which you're anxious, your blood's flowing to your ears, like things are loud, you might be sweating or you might be like feeling flush, Like you might act literally like. This is when we're talking about anxiety. We're talking about full body experiences. Even if you don't have a full body experience you don't have to, but a lot of us have full body experiences I like when you talk about like needing to gnash your teeth, Like that's a full body experience. She's sitting in a car, there's no need to be growly, she was Cause it was taking over from the inside. And that beautiful piece that sits on you coming from the Lord is amazing Because it is like all of a sudden your ear stop rushing, your body cools down and you just, and your abnormally calm, in a state in which you're looking around Like I remember being in a situation like that and I bet you felt the same way. You're kind of looking around, going I should be worried about this, but I'm so not Exactly, I should be like panicking about this, but I'm so peaceful and, guys, that is when the Lord is like I want to say he kicks in, Like because that's the best, my best description Like he's kicked in, Like that supernatural piece has taken over.

Right, and that's we know that piece is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and this is how you know it is of God, because but for God this piece would not exist. Amen to that.

And I want to say this that piece kicked in for you prior to prayer, but let's also talk about the power of prayer here.

Yeah, I mean once my mind finally calmed down and I was like, okay, it's time to pray, Like obviously the piece continued. But I think what's important to know about prayer is that, because it is this conversation with God, because we are encouraged to tell God what is on our minds and what we need, it's not like we're coming to someone who doesn't understand or doesn't want to see us not excel, but doesn't want to see us cared for Right. So in I think it was in Matthew Jesus says hey, don't worry about tomorrow, Tomorrow has enough problems of its own. His point was God takes care of everything, from the blades of the grass to the birds, to everything, and he will take care of you as well. So if he's willing to take care of those things in nature, how much more will he take care of you and your needs?

And remember what image bearers have got. We were created in his image. I think this is an important thing, Like Wendy's comment about if he takes care of the animals, how much more is he gonna take care of the people he created in his own image?

Right Now how that is going to look and play out, who knows. But again, this is all for God's glory, so that you can't, so that when you look back on this you can't say, oh, I did that, oh no, you did not. No, you did not, Absolutely not. You would not have come through that situation if it had not been for God.

And just so you guys know, the verse that Wendy quoted was Matthew 634. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

Sure is.

One of the things that I like to tell my clients and my children is to not borrow trouble, and I find myself guilty of this, which is why I use it with everybody. I use it with everyone Because I'm guilty of this, because it's easy to borrow trouble into a situation that you don't have an answer for, and so you're projecting ideas and creative. We're creative God made us super creative so we are creating pathways, if you will, and story pathways of what we think the outcome is going to look like, and some of us create story outcomes that have positive ends, but a lot of us create story outcomes that have negative ends, or we'll create a series of negative ends and only one positive. So we think there's only one way to be successful and there's 600 ways to fail, but the reality is, when God is in control, there's so many ways to success. In fact, you guys actually heard that in Wendy's story when she shared about Monday. All of a sudden, she saw many solutions. She didn't just see the one solution that she created in a sea of ugliness. She saw many, many, many solutions, and the few negatives that she was worried about, they fell away. That is the power of prayer, that is the power of a personal relationship with the Lord.

Right. And don't think that just because you didn't say Dear Heavenly Father and ended it with amen, that it wasn't a prayer. No, I don't pray that way. I mean, the Bible says pray without ceasing, and I feel like I have a stream of consciousness.

Conversation is my best description.

Right, Right. So you know you cry out to the Lord, the Lord will hear you. He hears you whether you're crying or whispering, or don't even know what to say, and you're relying on the Holy Spirit to intercede on your behalf.

Sometimes I've actually said I don't know what to say. But you know, you know this icky feeling that I'm feeling. Deal with it. That's the only answer. Right, that's the only thing I have. I don't even. Sometimes we don't even know where the feelings come from. Let's go on a little bit further. This versus these verses have just a little bit more, and I want to make sure we touch on them, even though we're probably not going to go very deep. So, first thing is, death is not permanent, because this is actually said in in jail, paul's life ends, paul's life ends. And again, we talked about for God's glory and we talked about for his kingdom, and we often think that that means we're going to live forever. We're going to have all kinds of affluence and power and all this stuff which we're going to talk about. Next week, guys, we're going to talk about some prosperity, gospel and why. It's not true. But this here is one of the reasons why we know that this is not like a perfect thing. Ok, like we're peaceful in knowing what the end is going to be and for all of us, all of our ends is death. Ok, we did not in. My husband likes to make the quip that we're all dying. And now I because you know it's usually me telling him to take care of something with his health, and he's like, and I'm like we're going to die and he's like we're all dying and I was like it's going to be faster than what you need to take care of yourself, but really that's the reality. We all, we all do and we all do have a finite amount of time on this earth. And then the final thing and I think this is the most important thing is that every experience has a purpose, for every experience has a purpose, and whether it's for us, specifically because he's growing us, or whether it's because our faith through a trial is for someone else to watch, this is not. Sometimes. I think that we think that every trial is for us and not every trial is for us.

Just like every promise in the Bible is not for us.

Oh, that's a spicy statement. We're going to have to do a podcast on that, because every promise is not for us. But let's get into some things, and I don't want to dig into those twins too deep, because I want to actually give you some applicable steps to deal with anxiety, for when you're feeling anxious because here's the guy, here's the thing, guys, just as we've said all along, you're going to feel it. So what do you do? And my favorite thing is to remind myself of what God has done. This is step, this is step number one for you to do. David does this in Psalm 77. You can actually see in first and second chronicles, the chronicler actually is reminding the entirety of Israel of what God has done before and who they are in him. Okay, like sometimes we have to co-opt someone else's experience, because we literally can't see the end of ours. So we have to rely on the faith that God is when he said this earlier, that God doesn't change and he is exactly who he says he is. So what he has done for one, he will do for all. So this is where we start reminding ourselves If God brought people through it before, and then that's a possibility for me to.

And this is why the feasts for the Hebrews were so important, because they were all about remembering remembering God's faithfulness, remembering God's love, remembering how God delivered them. And we don't have those feasts legalistically as Christians. What we have is communion. That is the ultimate reminder of God's love and sacrifice for us in the redemption that we now have in Christ Jesus. So every time that we partake in communion, we are to remember this. But because it doesn't it's not played out in a multi-day feast, some people tend to forget it and we take a very flippant view of taking communion. But that's what it's for. Every time we take communion. And if you're not in a church that takes communion, find one that does and go there sometimes, because this is an important part of the faithful experience. It's remembering God's faithfulness and love in the in what's the word I'm looking for in the sacrifice of Jesus.

Yeah. So ways to do that is memorization, biblical memorization, and I actually have. I'm going to go through them really quickly. I have a series of verses. They are some. There are so many more. I picked these particular ones because they spoke to me at the moment, but I can tell you that there are tons more that are going to have the same phrases or similar phrases, or that they might speak to you better. However, isaiah 41, 10 says fear not, I am with you, don't be dismayed, for I'm your God, I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you, I will help hold you with my righteous hand. And then Joshua 1 9 says and this one I love. In fact it was reminded for me about a Bible study that I did called Seizing God's Promises Fearlessly. It studies Joshua, and this one has stuck with me since that study. And Joshua 1 9 says have I not commanded you be strong and of good courage, don't be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go. I just love that one because that's the truth. Sometimes we're wandering and we move.

My cat's on my desk.

You don't actually know it, but your cat tail has been like looping around the back of your head for like 10 minutes and I've been watching it.

We're talking so seriously and then the cats knocking stuff over.

This is what cats do they bring humor to life. They bring humor to life, all right. First, peter 5, 6 through 7 says humble yourself under the mighty hand of God that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you. That one's so simple. I love that simple sentence at the end, that literally, that prepositional phrase, for he cares for you. So simple he does. And then the last one that I have for you guys to memorize is Proverbs 12, 25. Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.

And cat videos.

Yeah, cat, you know what? There's a. There was a girl, christina Kazmerick I don't know if I said her name right and if I didn't, I apologize deeply. She, I found her on, I want to say, like YouTube or something many years, a couple years ago, before, long before covid, and I remember her story and she was like you know what, I was just in a really bad place and so I just invited people over for dinner that were in a worse position than me and she just made it something happy. She was like it was literally nothing spectacular. I was like I'm just going to make this a happy situation and she was like it literally is the thing that changed my life. And I didn't think she was anxious and depressed and like a lot of bad things that happened to her, and she was just like you know what? I'm just going to give a positive word to people who are in worse situations than I am. Yeah, and then it literally changed the outcome of her life. It really did. If you guys find her online, she's amazing and lovely, but I don't know if she knows the Lord or not. I just know that this has been her experience because she shared it a little bit and I don't follow I'm a parable about following people online, guys but I just remember that story because I remember it being such a biblical principle of taking that moment and being like I can have an opportunity. I can literally sit over here on the side and be anxious, or I can choose to give a good word, right and right there in Proverbs. It reminds us of that. So it's literally like go out and do something and you know we talk about being doers. Activity is such a positive thing. This memorization is an important thing. I'm actually going to link something I found from a company called Dwell. They do like little stick on tattoos and they're the first letter of every word in a verse, so that you see it and then say the verses, you read the letters and it's the coolest thing and I totally want to get it for my kids. You want to take number three because I know you're a big fan of gratitude journaling.

Yes, I'm terrible in practice, but I love the concept, and so this is what I would suggest that you do. Whether you buy a whole new journal because you're extra, like that Some of us are, or you take out the Notes app on your phone, or whatever. Make note each day of three things that you're grateful for, but do not repeat what you wrote the day before. Oh, that's going to get tricky after a few days. Get tricky fast. Yeah, it gets tricky fast, but by focusing on gratitude first. Do this first thing in the morning If you feel you need to do it again before you go to bed to put yourself in a better state before you sleep.

Do it.

But by focusing on the positive not in a toxic positivity kind of way, but focusing on God and what he has done for you Put you in a better mindset as you go about your day, as you deal with difficult people in difficult situations. So what we want to do, what is that saying? Cultivate an attitude of gratitude, as the saying goes. So we linked an anxiety journal in the show notes from the Daily Grace Co. They have other products about anxiety, other studies and things like that in bundles. But if you want to buy a journal, you can. You don't have to. But just remember that by focusing on what God has done for you and the blessings he has poured out, it sets you in a different way as you go about the day.

And again, if you guys don't have something because you're literally struggling, go back to those Bible verses. Co-opt their faith as yours. Yeah, god doesn't change. Sometimes and again you have to look and see what God has done and sit in that. So if you can't write something of your own, write something. Write something that somebody in the Bible has succeeded in Right and it doesn't have to.

You don't have to write a grand thing like you're going to start off saying I'm grateful for my husband. Hopefully you're grateful for your spouse, You're grateful for your children, You're grateful for your home things like that You're grateful for. I'm grateful for Kale, I love Kale. I'm grateful for what it does for my body. So Deborah will heartily disagree because she can't stand it. That's not going to make her list. But don't be afraid to go that granular, because everything makes a difference. Every way that you look at something makes a difference. So, just like your words can be a blessing or a curse, whether you or not, you choose to look at something in a grateful mindset versus like looking at it as I get to versus I have to. I'm so thankful this happened because now I get to do this. Those are definitely three 180s attitude shifts that I swear are only possible with God.

Yeah, I always like the term hindsight is 2020. But oftentimes and we do not often we are not always blessed with the ability to see what we avoided. But I do think that God gives us this opportunities if we're asking for our eyes to be open, to see, sometimes, what we missed. Right, and I have actually asked that and like not understanding why a certain move came about, not understanding why a certain situation came about, and then all of a sudden, like I look back and I look at what's going on in the area, because sometimes you have that capability and I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I'm not part of that, right, I'm so glad that I was able to miss all of this, because I would have been in the middle of all of it and I don't think I would have been happy with that, right, sometimes we do miss things. It's not a lesson for us at the time, or maybe we've already walked it and the Lord is still providing protection for it. There's all kinds of things. Um, it was just thinking, as you were talking about that, that about Proverbs 15. One. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word strays up anger.

And yeah, I'm going to talk another day about something called harsh startups, when we delve into communications and how to talk to your spouse and other people who get on your nerves.

Yes, but you have another one here called applying. This is the next step, guys. This is step number four, so applying the trial test. Can you give us some explanation for that?

So, um, as you guys know, I do go to therapy, um, partly because I have PTSD, and so one of the things that we do it's not called a legal means test, I forget exactly the term for it but basically what you do and this is very similar to taking every thought captive you take these thoughts, these anxious thoughts that are usually based on lies and are not true, and you apply a legal standard to them. Basically, you put the thought on trial, you. You take the thought and you say, well, if I'm thinking nobody cares about me, then you have to prove that is true. So, if you're thinking nobody cares about me, but there's evidence to the contrary, then it is false. And now that you know it's false, apply what is true, hold on to what is true and cast off the lies. Easier said than done, I understand, but that's basically what we're doing here is we're taking each of these thoughts, each of these things that happen as a result of your anxiety that's filling your brain and saying is this true? Can this be supported with facts, not feelings, facts.

Because I actually love that. You said that because I was going to say feelings lie. Oh, they do. Yes, so I have, I have kiddos with ADHD. They tend to be big feelers and they're actually really good at reading emotions and one of the conversation points that we have because they can. They can definitely read emotions. My son says to me one day you're angry and I was very angry, and he took that to mean that I and I affirmed that I was angry, but he took that to mean that every thought that had run through his head, I was angry at those and I told him I was like we have to, you have to be very careful. Just because we know someone is angry or irritated does not mean that it has anything to do with us. Right, they could be, hungry. They could be hungry in our, in our house, my son usually says to me very gently, mommy, have you worked out today? And I would say no, I haven't. Is it that evident? Yes, it is. The other thing is is the funny? In that particular situation I had had a conversation with someone and it had not gone well, not my fault, but like they kind of just started mudslinging and I was like wow, and I was really angry about it. And I was sitting in that anger because I was. I had taken the step back, I decided I wasn't in the mood for playing with that particular thing, but I was angry about it. And so my son, he came down and he's he's seeing that I'm angry. But now it's his interaction because I'm still feeling that, and in his feelings we're telling him that I was angry at him. And so I would like to remind people just because we have an emotion doesn't mean that it's directed at us, doesn't mean that we, that that emotion is actually true, doesn't mean that we understand where it even came from. Oftentimes we don't. And so these are things. I like your time, I like your trial test, because we have to put every one of these things on trial. We have to ask ourselves what the root is. Sometimes the root is us. We feel a certain way or we're anxious about something and all of a sudden we realize it's because we're viewing it from our lens and our own inadequacies or our own shortcomings, or maybe some pridefulness, like we are, a factor in everything that we feel and think. So we do have to trial it, because it is not as simple as saying Well, I feel it, so it's true, yeah, yeah, no, I can't tell you. And Wendy's probably like I feel emotions all the time.

Because I'm doing it, but they are not a reliable indicator of what is true, because the heart is deceitful. It is in scriptures which tells us that. So that's, that was the trial test I love that I wish more people.

I actually wish this was a tool that we use more frequently, because I really think that we should be challenging what we think and feel all the time.

But that's what Paul is saying when he says take everything thought captain, every thought captain. It's just that secular psychology just called it something else because we have courts of law. So what secular psychology is telling us is what Paul already told us, and all Paul is telling us is what was already in the Old Testament. It's beautiful.

Again, going back to you, there's nothing new under the sun. Exactly, there's nothing new. And we're going to round this, these simple things out, guys, with prayer. I think it's the most, one of the most under utilized tools, because I can guarantee you, when you're having a bad attitude, you do not go for prayer, you reach for that phone to complain to a girlfriend. I know that when you're having a bad day, you're yelling at your husband not yelling at him per se, like because he's mad, like you're yelling and telling him things, but you haven't gone to prayer yet. You know you might be having these words and negative thoughts towards yourself. Still haven't gone to prayer. It's our most powerful tool and yet our most last used landline. Yeah, what was that TV show that did? Like the three things you got? Who wants to be a millionaire? Is that who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah, lifelines. There you go, the lifelines. And it's so funny because we have an unlimited lifeline through prayer and it's always the last thing we reach for Right, because, again, we're trying to do things on our own.

Yeah, it's all. It's all me, it's all about me. And this is it's a reminder of where you go first when there's trouble is indicative of how you, how you place God in your life. There's a more eloquent way of saying that. I was trying to find it in my notes. Don't know where it is, but if you're not going to God first, god is not first in your life. I don't care what you say, it's not. And I'm guilty of that too, because remember, on Monday, my first thought was not prayer. It came eventually. It wasn't my first thought and I will own that.

And this is where we're we're worrying with. We're worrying with ourselves, right. We're worrying with our fleshly nature. We're worrying with, like, the earthly side of us. This is, this is, this is we're talking about sanctification today in our American Heritage Girl troop, Right. This is like the process we go through, like the challenges we go through, and we have to get better at reaching for this lifeline first.

Yeah, yeah.

And we're what? Does it take up your cross and deny? Jesus said open.

Take up your cross. Whoever desires to follow me must take up his cross daily, deny himself and follow me.

Here we go. Thank you for putting it, getting the rest of it and that's. But this is it. Listen, guys, like human nature, we put ourselves first always. It's really hard to literally deny yourself.

Yeah.

And this is what we're working towards, this is what we're learning about. This is even dealing for something like anxiety or walking through our faith in real life. Yeah, this is the real life, real messy part of it. I just I want you to be encouraged. I guess I want, I want to leave you with encouragement, knowing that this is normal, that this is real, that this is messy and yet we do have things to anchor into to keep us from being anxious.

Yeah, and just like you have a habit of waking up first thing in the morning and grabbing your phone and checking Facebook, you can cultivate a habit of prayer.

Can I just throw out there? I'm gonna you guys are gonna laugh at this a couple of years ago, so it's been a while, like maybe five years. I have a friend who reached out to me and was like I just want to make sure I read my Bible every day. So can you ask me about that? I was like sure, now, guys, I was not reading my Bible every day. It was not the first thing I was doing. If I could squeeze it in, I squeezed it in If I didn't. Well, you know, life is busy. But after about a month of asking her, hey, do you reach Bible? I literally wrote her back one day and I was like I can't ask you this anymore unless I'm doing it. And so I did. But accountability is so huge. So just, I want you guys to know like we're talking about this because we struggle with it and because you know simple things like accountability, praying with people, even simply asking a friend, you just ask me if I'm reading my Bible every day. Cool beans, you know what I mean. That's enough to change the metric for us. Yeah, I just want you to feel encouraged that it is possible to change. It is possible not to be stuck in this anxiety circle because we come out and we put Christ in the way that he is totally normal and feel anxious. It's also totally normal to escape it. You know, that's actually an interesting thing, not equating anxiety to sin, but the ending part of sin in him saying that we have the ability to. He always gives us an escape. I like that because there's an escape for sin. It also means there's an escape for other things. Is there a verse for that that I'm missing? I see your face and the wheels turning.

I'm looking for the specific verse you're mentioning.

And this one. I know that that's specifically a sin. It was specifically about sin that he will give you. I think it's when he's in the desert and he's being tempted and he's reminding us that we have an escape.

The verse basically is because I can never remember if it's in Corinthians or Colossians or I can never remember. But basically the verse is no temptation has overcome me, except what is common to man, but God is faithful and he will make a way to escape.

But I like that part at the end God is faithful and he will make a way to escape, because sometimes we feel like we're trapped in this anxious. We're trapped in anxiousness, or we're trapped in depression, or we're just trapped in the life that we're in. And I love your example that you gave earlier, because you just started to see solutions. And if the verse tells us that we're not trapped because God gives us an escape, then it means there's a solution. We just have to ask God for it. And I know that the verse was specifically talking about sin, but I think that that last part of it really applies to everything that we feel trapped by.

It does because, while the overall message of Scripture is redemption, that redemption is built in hope, and so if there is no hope, is it of God? And the question then becomes what are you hoping in, what are you hoping for? And one of the things we learn in pastoral counseling is that when people come to us, it's because they don't have hope anymore, and one of my first jobs as the counselor is to reignite or reinstill that hope. Now, maybe the person coming to me is not a believer, that's okay. Everybody hopes in something, and it is my job to make sure that they have hope again.

That's a powerful tool. It's very powerful, In fact, I believe and this is gonna be a horrible misquote, you guys, not a Bible verse.

It's okay, so misquote so misquote.

Okay. So there's information about like POWs during World War II and Vietnam, and the ones that lived, the people that made it through successfully, and they horrible, horrible situations. For them, the one thing that was actually characterized by their success of living was that they never gave up hope that someone was coming to save them, and that is a powerful tool. The people who finally turned around and believed that there was no hope coming. They actually died, and they actually died pretty quickly and they died of the every single situation that everyone else was in, that the difference between the two in the horrible situations was that one held out hope for rescue and one lost it. And that right, there is the power of hope. It's the difference between life and death. And that was a really interesting this guy's I was like a lecturer that I listened to. It was really cool. I wish, if I find it, I will link it in the show notes. Do not quote me on any of this. Just this is my takeaway from something that I listened to and learned. But it was really fascinating to me because the ones that held out hope, they lived and that's just, I think it's just such a powerful tool we hope in the Lord. We have so much more than even just hoping that someone is like a human, is going to rescue us. We know and we rest in what the power of the Lord has for us. Now, whether that's in a bad situation like Paul was, in which I will say this, does it not encourage you, wendy, so much knowing that Paul did not write this from a place where he was like in safety? Yeah, yeah, for me, these verses really encourage me because when I hear like don't be anxious, it's very easy for a human that's we live in America. Like don't be anxious, you got a car, you got a house, you got food, you've got stuff in amenities. There's several countries that don't have that security, and yet Paul is literally writing it from prison, and not like American prison guys, or like Swedish prison. That's super nice. Like these Roman prisons were not cool. They aren't. They often changed like yeah, there's some really terrible. Like the Romans were pretty, for lack of a better description, but I will digress on that. I just thought I just love that he doesn't write this from a place of peacefulness and security. He writes it from literally the most horrible place. And if he can do that from a horrible place, so can we Right? It gives me hope and it gives me strength in a different way. So that's all I have for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed and I hope these tools are useful and I hope you feel empowered to live a life of faith in real life, knowing that this is gonna be how we are.

Yeah. So thank you for tuning in to Grace in Real Life. If you enjoyed today's episode, we would love to hear from you. You can leave us a message online at gracingreallifecom or on Instagram at gracingreallifemedia. And if you're looking for dynamic speakers for your next event, we are here to help. With our unique backgrounds, we can deliver informative and entertaining presentations on health coaching, on podcasting, I can definitely make this funny, I promise. If you're ready to take your event to the next level, head to our Instagram to book us or email us at hello at gracingreallifecom. Don't forget to subscribe to us on your favorite podcast app. Share this episode with your friends and family and leave us a review, because that helps others find our show and allows us to serve more listeners. And with that, deborah, will you close us out in prayer? Absolutely.

Jared. Lord, thank you so much for these amazing examples of real life people who went through anxiety and depression, and they lived lives that were not easy so that we too can know how to live and walk our faith with you through the challenging times. And, lord, we are so grateful that you're there for us in the highs and we're so grateful that you're there for us, even more so, in the lows. And, lord, I just pray for each of our listeners today that they are remembered, or reminded, I should say, during their challenging times to reach to you first, to lean into prayer and to pray and just rest in your word, and we're so grateful for you, lord, for that. In your name, I pray, amen, amen.

Until next time, bye.